of letting go part 1

There is a thin line drawn between giving up and letting go and still it can be as wide as the ocean.  There are things to be learned from the past and plenty of things to be let go and mostly they are included.

At the Dharma-study circle we were talking about Suffering.  Things that lead to Suffering, mainly.  The rest will follow.  The duality of pleasure-pain is my main issue at the moment; how seemingly easy would it be, just to take the shortest path, focus momentarily on some impermanent pleasure, avoid the pain for a while, until the instant fix would dry out and the pain would be knocking on my door again.  

The pain can't be avoided.  We all know that deep in our hearts.  And you can not get attached to either pain or pleasure.  It is good to remember, true, but desperately dragging either good old times or bad things with you all along the way, would make life quite hard and painful.  Relationships might be easiest examples;  there has been good things in each one of them.  You wouldn't have been with that person if there weren't.  There have also been bad things, because without them I doubt highly that you wouldn't have broken up.  (Yes, there are also the "bad things" that can tie the two persons together on a more solid basis than "good things", but since this isn't a blog about relationships in this sense, I'll leave it to someone else.)

Note; to my opinion, there are no such things as good or bad things when it comes to so-called "normal" life, meaning the life without wars, murders and such things.  There are only possibilities to learn and see.  I haven't lived my life in a palace yard knowing nothing about the cruelties of life and suffering of beings (and even if I would have, it has been shown that it's not a problem on the road of compassion) , so don't be insulted if you have gone through hell.  It's not my place to point fingers or give advices, I'm nothing more than another seeker, and this is merely my opinion. 

But the "good" or "bad" things alone are not a reason to get back together with your ex or to stop dating in general.  That didn't work out, but there has to be plenty to learn from.  There IS plenty to learn from.  Your own behavior, your partner's, expectations, hopes, dreams, fears, everything.  You could just find someone to keep you warm at night and have your easy fix from the comfort of that person's body and sweet words.  But the things built on sand won't last and if a relationship is based on the fear of being alone or fear of facing yourself and everything you carry, it's not likely to last.

So you've got two choices; to either find the easy fix, live with that for a while, pile up the dirt and wait until it all collapses on you, or, stay on your own and face those things you're running from. 

Will continue on another part.

(My writings are my opinions, the do not represent the official stands of FWBO.)